melancholia

For the last two weeks i had more time to think, than i usually have. I have been busy studying for my finals,writing applications and organizing my future life. But now, i'm taking a break.

I have had the most wonderful two weeks. I feel like i've lived my life in black and white.

My soundtrack consisted of "Asleep" and "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" by "The Smiths", "Youth" by "Daughter", "Society" by Eddie Vedder, "Scarborough Fair"by Simon and Garfunkel. And a bunch of the Cure and Radiohead songs. 

My dad told me that i would listen to too much sad music. I know that i do. And i like it. I like being sad. Sometimes a little bit of pain is good. Being sad is almost comfortable. There is nothing better than cuddling up in bed, staring at the ceiling and listen to wonderful, melancholy music. That's something that would never work with a fun and happy song. Those are songs to dance to. But it's winter, it's cold and i don't want to dance. I want to think. I want to indulge in melancholia. 

I'm pretty sure that this is not the most healthy thing to do, but i feel like this melancholia and sadness has become a part of me. And i don't want to let it go. 

I feel fine, being sad.